Je’Niece McCullough, the daughter of late comedian Bernie Mac, appeared on an episode of the Can We Talk podcast to discuss trauma from parental wounds. She revealed that during her childhood, she was often subjected to her father’s harsh parenting style but eventually healed and made amends with him.
McCullough said that her father often parented her with rage and frustration.
“If he was happy, we were happy,” McCullough said.
Furthermore, he would criticize her for not fighting back when she was bullied at school. He could call her weak.
She noted that in her childhood, she would often use journaling to sort out the emotions that came from the parental dynamics at play in her home.
McCullough noted that she even went through a period of questioning whether or not to have children because she did not want to risk making the same parenting mistakes her parents made.
Like many adults, Mac’s daughter appeared to have suffered what psychologists call the “Father Wound.” It originates from either paternal absenteeism or negative interactions with one’s father. Future relationships often suffer when that wound is unhealed.
Eventually, McCullough decided to write Bernie a letter that expressed how she felt throughout her childhood. Afterward, she went on a fast. During that time, she found out she was pregnant and decided then that although Bernie was not the type of father she desired, he was going to be a grandfather. She then accepted that he was a human being, flaws and all. She said that helped her resolve the pent-up anger.
Though we don’t know whether or not Bernie Mac read the letter, McCullough said that after her divorce, her father actually comforted her and hugged her. At some point, he apologized to her for how harsh he had been and they were able to grow into friends before he passed away.
Childhood trauma is hard to surmount, but it is possible. McCullough has proven that it is possible if the individual is willing and a plus when the parent is contrite as well.
August 9 was the 13th anniversary of Bernie Mac’s passing.
