Welcome to our new weekly segment– “Ask Your Sis.”
It’s the place where we keep it all the way real, honey. Check out our inaugural letter.
Hey Sis,
My friend and I are in our early 40s. We have been friends for 15 years. I am recently divorced, and she is a recovering alcoholic who just found Jesus about six months ago. She has been a mess since I’ve known her. I have always gone to church, but I have never been obsessed with religion. I try to be a good person and follow the Lord’s way. My girl “Liz” has done everything under the sun (no shade) and got saved again. Now, she wants to talk my damn ear off about her pastor and Jesus. We can’t even go to brunch and have a normal conversation without her bringing up a scripture. I just wanna talk about the date I had or let off some steam about my job. It’s getting to the point that I don’t wanna talk to her. I send her to voicemail. How do I tell my friend that her Jesus talk is killing my vibe?
Signed,
“Annoyed in Atlanta”
AYS: Hey, Annoyed.
Sorry to hear about your divorce. I hope you’re ok. This was a lot. And I know you’re trying to navigate Liz’s newfound purpose, but it came off a little shady. From my understanding, y’all have been friends for 15 years. But it sounds like when Liz was a mess, you were the friend “who had it together.”
There’s been a shift, and Liz has found joy, and you don’t seem happy for her. This journey has made her a better person, no? And although you “always” went to church, doesn’t the good sis Liz deserve to feel that fulfillment that you felt– even though you aren’t overly religious?
Baby, real talk…you’ve gone through a dramatic change in your life. You may not be in a position to be truly happy for your friend– right now. And 15 years dictates that you should ask yourself, what was the objective of your friendship? And are you willing to lose her?
Liz may be feeling that her “friend” isn’t happy about her new life and may decide to move on.
Have an honest conversation with your friend. This is a significant accomplishment, so we don’t want to diminish her victory, but you also have to own up to where you are. Try going to church with her… it may give you the same joy.
Oh… and a therapist.
Good luck.
